Oral Presentation
I'm not all that different from you. You may think I am, because I'm beautiful, successful and loved by pretty much everyone. And I won't deny that these things probably make our lives rather different, but underneath all that glamour, beauty and extraordinary achievement, I'm just like you.
My team has to deal with the same mundane things in life as you. Finances. Appointments. People wanting things from me… And then there’s Mondays.
Oh, how I hate Mondays.
My weekends tend to be exhilarating. There are clubs to visit, red carpets being rolled out for me, gorgeous people everywhere and a seemingly endless supply of people who suddenly become remarkably potent in my presence. And I, being the generous woman I am, happily enjoy the results of that.
But then Monday arrives and everything just feels so... meh.
So when Hi Life opens its doors on a Monday, I'm more than happy to put on something fabulous, forget about the dreadful first day of the week and get back to doing what I do best.
Being me.
And then, just when I thought I'd successfully rescued my Monday, Opie found a way to ruin it. Now, I love her, but of all the possible moments she could have chosen to call a conference meeting, she somehow managed to pick this exact one. Seriously.
There I was, enjoying myself, when suddenly everyone was being gathered around for what I can only assume was a discussion about strategic priorities, operational excellence and whatever else people put into PowerPoint presentations these days.
A meeting. On a Monday. At a club.
About something that almost certainly could have been an email. Or, considering where we are, a simple IM.
Some people.
Now, here's the thing. If you call me into a meeting at the wrong moment, particularly after I've spent some time moving around a dance floor, checking out everyone around me and mentally selecting one or more promising candidates to take home later, you really shouldn't expect my mind to be focused on long-term objectives, quarterly forecasts or risk assessments.
I have other priorities. Very immediate ones and frankly, some of those risks look rather appealing.
So when everyone gathered around, flipped open their laptops and waited for me to contribute something meaningful to the discussion, I may have misunderstood what was being asked of me. Because when someone asks me to deliver an oral presentation, I have certain expectations. And apparently, so do they. Just not the same ones.
I won't go into the details.
Let's just say that my contribution was considerably more hands-on than anyone had anticipated, and that at least one person probably wished they'd reviewed the agenda beforehand. So, to everyone who attended that meeting, I apologise if my presentation came as a bit of a shock. I got carried away.
It happens.
I do hope you found it stimulating, though. And Opie, darling, after all that effort, I'm counting on a stellar quarterly review. Preferably with a very satisfactory performance rating.
Now, can we please get back to dancing?
It's Monday, for fuck's sake.
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This post is not sponsored or paid for in any way. I was also not blackmailed or tortured to write it.
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