Backseat Driver
I should probably begin with a confession. I've never seen a Fast & Furious movie. Not one. I mean, I’m in movies. I don’t watch them if I’m not. Why bother.
But I know that apparently there are seventeen of these movies, give or take, everyone is very attractive, nobody obeys traffic laws and at some point they found something to cure gravity. I've also been reliably informed that they're about cars.
And family.
So when I was invited to a Fast & Furious themed night at Sunvana, I did what I always do: absolutely no research whatsoever, find something suitable to wear and see for myself when I got there.
Which turned out to be fast cars and beautiful people.
The place was packed with cars that looked way more expensive than anything I'd voluntarily leave parked around you people. Low, loud and polished to within an inch of their lives, which I enjoyed. Nothing better than looking at my own reflection.
Seven and Severus were behind the decks, while everyone else wandered between the cars, danced, posed, flirted and pretended they knew a lot more about cars than they actually did.
Initially, I was mainly interested in the aesthetics. The lines. The curves. The beautiful bodies.
And then I looked at the cars.
So it seems that one of the important things in these cars is something called NOS. You press a button and suddenly everything goes much faster. I checked a couple of cars for it, but couldn't find the button. Several people offered to help. It was a very community-minded crowd.
At some point somebody opened the door of one of the cars and I discovered an aspect of the Fast & Furious franchise nobody had bothered mentioning to me before. Backseats.
Now this was interesting.
As you know, I take my responsibilities very seriously. You can't simply look at a car and form an opinion. You need to get inside. Feel the materials. Examine the ergonomics. Test the suspension.
So I did.
Rear legroom: adequate. Upholstery: lovely. Headroom: challenging under certain circumstances. Suspension: surprisingly responsive. Hydraulics: extensive further testing required.
Lucky for me, there were plenty of cars, and I believe very strongly in obtaining a representative sample.
By this point someone had also explained to me that one of the movies is called Tokyo Drift and that drifting involves deliberately losing traction while somehow remaining in control. I've been doing that for years. Honestly, the more I learned about these movies, the more annoyed I became that nobody had recommended them to me sooner.
I won't bore you with all the technical details, but let's just say some suspensions are a lot firmer than others, leather has its advantages, and if you're buying a sports car based purely on what happens in the front seats, you're overlooking some very important specifications.
Eventually I emerged from yet another vehicle, a small van this time, with a reasonable number of test results. They were lovely and even all gave me their number.
I still haven't seen a Fast & Furious movie. I still don't know what NOS actually does. I should probably never be allowed anywhere near a Dodge Charger, but I think I finally understand what the franchise is trying to teach us.
Life is short. Drive fast. Always inspect the backseat. And never forget the most important thing.
Given the choice, always pick a stick shift.
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This post is not sponsored or paid for in any way. I was also not blackmailed or tortured to write it.
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