A Study in Hotness
Suddenly everyone thinks they’re hot.
No matter where I go, people keep telling me they’re hot. It’s become the topic of the day. “Ugh, I’m so hot.” “I can’t deal with feeling this hot.” And to be honest, this very much surprises me, because if you’re standing next to me, surely you can tell you’re not that hot.
This has been going on for a couple of weeks now, and it’s fascinating to watch how you people are coping. Apparently the accepted solution for all of you is to throw pool parties. Lots of them.
That’s not how you deal with being hot.
When you’re hot, you dress accordingly. You smile at the people who deserve your attention. You occasionally steal someone else’s boyfriend, every now and then a husband if the opportunity presents itself, and you stop worrying about trivial things like money because other people insist on paying for everything.
That, my friends, is how you deal with being hot.
Obviously, this self-proclaimed hotness didn’t come with a manual, because yesterday even my beloved Valmoor surrendered to the belief, convincing itself that bikinis, swim shorts, and in some cases an altogether lack of clothing, is what hot people need. I really need to study this strange behaviour, so I decided the best course of action for now is to document this remarkable phenomenon.
If you’d like to join this highly academic research project, feel free to browse the photos below. Naturally, I forgot to include myself in the main study. Again. A proper experiment needs a control group, after all, so I took a selfie later for reference. It may only be an N = 1 sample of certified hot people, but every scientific breakthrough has to start somewhere and I didn’t want to skew the results too much.
Click them for a larger resolution and save.
This post is not sponsored or paid for in any way. I was also not blackmailed or tortured to write it.
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